I know it is a Year-End Update but here we go.
I lost my grandfather two months ago. He was the first grandfather I lost since I’ve been around. I’m still trying to figure out how to trudge through this. Between losing him and finding solid ground again, I’m a little out of sorts, to say the least.
I went back to what I sadly know as my home of origin for a few days. While it was nice to see it again, and I must say that I was hesitant to leave, it was great getting back to Texas.
I’m not as intelligent as I would like to be. I have had a lot of trial and error lessons in life. I’ve had more of those that are financially damning than I would like to admit to. I might speak English and have a Mid-western accent, but there are plenty of Rednecks that are magna cum laude and I am not. I’m not jealous of anyone for the life they lead. I just know I can freely admit my shortcomings.
This being said, I left Illinois years ago, and really, I left it on the best terms possible. Yes, friends and family were bittersweet I was out of their influence, I’d be alone. I would have my cousin to assist me with simple things while I got on my feet.
Exactly that happened. I did get on my feet. I did find a life for me here.
And now a pillar of my foundation from my childhood only exists in my memory. It sounds cliche but I can’t watch an Italian mobster film without getting teary-eyed. It’s not that my immediate family on my father’s side is all suits and ammo, it’s that we had get-togethers that make ice cream socials for hamlets and villages seem quaint by comparison. I really don’t have isolated memories of my grandfather, but more of large swaths of footage with forty people on average.
That sounds like nothing but when you seriously cram those folks into a backyard with a grill, picnic tables, lawn darts, and horseshoe pits, holy shit, I’m happy nobody got waxed on Fite Drive in Decatur. I know my hometown’s ICS does have a few hundred folks in it but I’m thinking that it was spread out and it looked like it was sparse.
So anyway, I get teary-eyed at the Godfather movies.
I also had a week of living like a tourist in San Antonio with my best friend while on vacation. If you’ve never had a friend who was like a sibling and you spent a lot of time together, you are missing what many young adults feel while in the military. I don’t think I could have done that week with many other folks in the history of man. I kept comparing it to when I brought a woman down from Illinois for an earlier vacation in 2014… Unless she’s exclusive to me and I’m partially responsible for her, I’m never doing that again.
Finally, work is seriously looking great. Not that I’m a good worker or a dedicated soul. I’m a lazy person by no stretch of the imagination. I will help you on physical labor or rouse others to get something moved, but let me say that I kinda like being in heart-attack country. If I was a fit person at 160 lbs, I would summon more responsibility and really, we have twenty year olds that orgasm when they swing a ten-pound malllet.
But work is fantastic. They know they can give me an assignment and when it’s updated later, it’s complete. Not in a stage of waiting, not in a stage of non-completion. And it’s nice to be decent enough at a vocation that I know within my specialization that the bosses needs will be met.
As the year closes, I’m getting my new home furnished in 2015. I’m setting up a vacation spot for my parents, so they don’t have to worry about anything. Just get here. Just arrive in San Antonio safely. I got this.
It’s New Years Eve. I’m listening to John Pinette’s I’m Starving, and a part of my soul is happy he made it to Heaven before me. I know he will scope out the best places to eat in the Ever After. Out of all the talent that left us this year, I will miss him the most.
Outside, I’m looking at sheets of ice on outdoor horizontal surfaces outside. I’m gonna finish my third book in 2015. It’s gonna be fun. 2014 was a character test, and it is over.
Wherever you are, I will see you soon.