Just a Thought about Social Networking and Vocations

I recently had a huge discussion with my HR veep. Of the company I work for. So after said discussion, which in the agreement was “You can have your blog, but be professional.” Which meant either I change my name or I delete anything work related. Keeping it the same would result in a termination for a few reasons.

Keeping in spirit with our gentleman’s agreement, I did alter and delete somethings from my social networking footprint which were pointing fingers to my job. Granted, not all of it was bad, but they have an image they are trying to uphold. And while I’m a great mute at business get-togethers, I’m not the guy you want around your Ivy League schlep that wants to dump his daddy’s investment dollars into your hole.

So we can keep things up on my blog like, what I do, my opinions. But any photos of work which might have been googled back around…nah, those went to the dump bin. And rightly so. I agree, there are some things I do really fanfuckingtastically well. I won’t exactly Manning your Super Bowl into the shitter, but I will have my own panache for my work.

Which everyone agrees, fine. Shake, shake, hand shake, hand shake.

So everyone at said company now does nothing per facebook. And some of us are still trying to untag those photos on our cover album (which is awesome sounding because everyone now uses CD’s or mp3’s…bad dum tish–bad joke). Kind of odd…how weeks ago, they were posting photos of Christmas time, work shirts, business parties…oh hell, delete the entire album. You can’t have the intern in that position, it makes it look like we’re the people behind pedo bear!

So as I’m reworking my network profiles over the web…I found myself at linkedin…

Um…this is so uncounter productive…Not social networking in general. But a social network where you’re pretty much supposed to have your ever-growing resume updated semi-monthly or somesuch…but it’s totally cool for your company’s HR reps to surf the profiles (“Oh dude, she’s hot. Can she just be hired to check the grout in the floor tiles…I bet she has a great backburner.” All the way to, “Overqualified and fuck it, that’s uglier than Helen Thomas.”) I mean, you and I…are really not supposed to be ‘looking’ for opportunity, or making it easy for opportunity to come across to us.

But here we are, millions of workers, constantly putting our brag sheet out here on the internet, using our real names (using a pen name or a porn name should be in practice at linkedin). We’re there, weathering the storm of Obamacare, in the Obamanation with no economy and permanent vacations for the ugliest First Lady…not wanting to point the obvious…

But linkedin.com just looks like a horrible problem. It’s partially an abortion. Of sorts. If your company you work for has you loaded with responsibility and you’re responsible for bringing the noise in Seattle, then you have your public profile up here as an occupational slap-in-the-face. You’re putting yourself out there, as a Guy La Douche, squirting who-knows-what on your company marquee.

At the same time, I have a serious itch to make DOZENS of profiles for fake people at real places I have worked. And just start making a company look like a mad house. I mean, you could have SERIOUS FUN doing something like this. Add in a few drunken photos from random people off myspace (because we always forget to check our myspace profile to ensure it’s not coming back!) and you have yourself a possible few evening’s entertainment sitting by the display drunkenly adding in more accomplishments to your new, fun, zany persona!!!

For some odd reason I think I will be traveling to a coffee shop with some Knob Creek in my flask next hitch that I have off. Yes, indeed, this is far, too far, of a bad idea to let it percolate soberly.

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